The Brave One – 2007 – Neil Jordan

I read somewhere that every story has already been told, and that is the case with this movie. It’s like Charles Bronson on estrogen and aired just before Oprah, minus the juicy parts. As my mother says: “They ruined the action with a love story.” Go and watch Death Wish for vigilante justice. Brian Murray

Jodie Foster is a New York DJ turned urban outlaw who is transformed into a bloody killer following a brutal attack in Central Park. More’s the pity they didn’t kill her and the film. Pass. JJ

Watchmen – 2009 – Zack Snyder

The longest three hours of my life; it should have been cut in half, or never made at all. The convoluted and unraveling plot spins all over these barely likable characters, not to mention the digital blue cock and balls all the way through the movie. (Brian gave it three expletives) Brian Murray

The Genius Club – 2006 – Timothy A. Chey

An intellectual thriller, debatably, about the greatest American brains gathered together to play a game with a nuke-wielding sociopath in order to save humanity, or at least the US. It does, however, deal with a lot of contemporary issues, while the “ostriches” of this world bury their heads in the sand. Brian Murray

Taken – 2008 – Pierre Morel

Liam Neeson is a dad on a mission to save his teenage daughter who is befriended by a cute French man, kidnapped by greasy haired Albanians, sold to a devious but polite capitalist and auctioned as a sex slave to gluttonous Arabs. Everyone in Paris speaks English; Liam Neeson kicks ass, just not so good at sprinting. JJ

Shake Hands with the Devil – 2007 – Roger Spottiswoode

Forget about Hotel Rwanda and Shooting Dogs. This documentary about the Rwandan killing fields, one of the most appalling chapters in modern history, contains some very disturbing images. If one’s ever shed tears over some stupid Bollywood movie, they should be ashamed of themselves. Omid Nikfarjam

Sophie’s Choice -1982 – Alan J. Pakula

If there was one scene in a movie that would encourage me to watch it over and over, it’s the scene whereby Sophie’s forced to make her most difficult choice – sad and painful, but extremely watchable. You’ve never seen Meryl Streep, who won an Oscar for her lead role, so beautifully perfect. Omid Nikfarjam

Mother of Tears – 2007 – Dario Argento

The third installment of the Three Mothers trilogy by Dario Argento, the true stepfather of Eli Roth, Rob Zombie and the rest of the gornography gang, is spectacularly bad. And I mean bad in every way; acting, story, dialogue. You must, like me, have this crazy thing for horrors to watch this to the end! Omid Nikfarjam

Happiness – 1998 – Todd Solondz

If anything Solondz portrays the pursuit of happiness as a poisoned chalice. The themes are often grimacing and make for difficult viewing; pedophilia, sexual gratification, anomie. Some memorable individual performances and scenes but Solondz shies away from tackling the fall out and disappointments of trying to capture something as elusive as happiness. JJ

Kids -1995 – Larry Clark

First time I saw Kids I thought ‘what a fucking pedestrian adolescence I had.’ The two main kids are like disciples of Gordon Gekko, except pussy is their holy grail and not profit. For sure it’s despondent, it’s dirty, and the characters are beyond reach. Maybe it’s just a slice of NYC. JJ

Diary of the Dead – 2007 – George A. Romero

With elements of Night of the Living Dead, and Dawn of the Dead one would expect DofD to be good. There’s plenty of suspense, and well written dialogue, for a zombie movie, but if you’ve seen the aforementioned movies then there is nothing to be gained from watching this. Brian Murray