Watchmen – 2009 – Zack Snyder

The longest three hours of my life; it should have been cut in half, or never made at all. The convoluted and unraveling plot spins all over these barely likable characters, not to mention the digital blue cock and balls all the way through the movie. (Brian gave it three expletives) Brian Murray

Bolt – 2008 – Howard & Williams

An animation that seems suspiciously similar to Toy Story, but is nowhere near as good. A superhero dog thinks he’s really real, but after a trip to the big city he realises he’s really not. Then he has to save his leading lady, so is he really a hero? You’ll have to wait and see! Brian Murray

Body of Lies – 2008 – Ridley Scott

Two CIA operatives (Russell Crowe and Leonardo DiCaprio) create an elaborate proxy terrorist organisation to ensnare a Bin-Laden like terror chief blowing up Europe. This is what the movie should have been entirely about, instead this subplot gets lost in a bombastic and muddled action thriller, that Scott get’s half right. JJ

Taken – 2008 – Pierre Morel

Liam Neeson is a dad on a mission to save his teenage daughter who is befriended by a cute French man, kidnapped by greasy haired Albanians, sold to a devious but polite capitalist and auctioned as a sex slave to gluttonous Arabs. Everyone in Paris speaks English; Liam Neeson kicks ass, just not so good at sprinting. JJ

The Savages – 2007 – Tamara Jenkins

When Lenny Savage’s wife dies, he is thrust upon his two wayward, screwed up children. By then the family has grown apart and resentment is all that remains in this tragi-comedy. However, his kids, played excellently by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Laura Linney are forced to overcome their resentment and finally start living like adults. JJ

Eagle Eye – 2008 – D.J. Caruso

Blend in 2001: A Space Odyssey, Terminator, and The Man Who Knew Too Much and you get the biggest lie Hollywood’s ever produced from the director and actor of Disturbia. The problem is they take themselves too seriously, or else it would be fun to watch! Omid Nikfarjam

Zombie Strippers! – 2008 – Jay Lee

Ping pong balls and flesh-eating strippers led by the infamous Jenna Jameson; that should be enough not to watch it. It opens with a humourous polemic against George Bush, misleading you into thinking that it’s going to be good, but ultimately ends up as a cloaked soft-porn movie. Brian Murray

Knocked Up – 2007 – Judd Apatow

An implausible matching between Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl. He dumps his junk in her, doesn’t remember it and low and behold she’s up the duff. They try to be the good parents and continue to fall in and out of love for the rest of the movie. Full of it. Brian Murray

The Lookout – 2007 – Scott Frank

High school jock Chris Pratt (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) suffers memory loss and loses two of his best friends after ploughing his car into a combine harvester. Wracked with guilt and self pity his life is worthless. Redemption comes from an unlikely source. At best a supermarket ready meal type of movie. JJ

Tropic Thunder – 2008 – Ben Stiller

Ben Stiller’s latest comedy is a mixed bag of laughs and groans, pity it’s all a bit formulaic. A star studded cast is plonked in the middle of Vietnam, and have to act their way out of the jungle, while the script is being rewritten. Watch it for the hilarious opening trailers. JJ