Sl8n8 – 2006 – Frank van Geloven, Edwin Visser

Horror movies are a bit like sex. You have sex in some different, exotic place, wear costumes and use implements – if you’re into that – but essentially it’s routine. The fact that this movie is in Dutch, and is set in a disused mineshaft makes it different, but everything else remains the same. Brian Murray

Wolfsbergen – 2007 – Nanouk Leopold

God forbid you were stuck on a desert island and Wolfsbergen was the only thing on telly. What seemed like a typical existential drama about a dysfunctional Dutch family is completely charmless and 1,000,000 % depressing. I lost the will to live watching this. So did Cristina. I wouldn’t even subject French people to it. JJ